Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I. Want. This. Book. Aah...

Dear Mr./Mrs.whoever is in charge of the stocking of books in Periplus, Kinokuniya, or Gramedia,
Please, please, pleasee be benevolent and sensible enough to bring this book to Indonesian shelves..


And although I haven't read this book (yet) I'd just like to convey a silent 'Thank You' to Mr.Deepak Chopra, for making a book like this available first and foremost in a country where "less than a third know that most people in Indonesia--the world's most populous Muslim nation--are, in fact, Muslim." Okay, so the book won't actually open anyone's eyes to this fact (though it'd be nice if people from the western world actually started realizing that we Indonesian Muslims exist, and all 202.9 million of us have lived relatively peaceful lives here with our fellow citizens that believe in other faiths) but my point is that in a place where so many people still know so little and fear so much about this religion, it's the perfect gateway to finally get some understanding about at least one the many aspects of our faith: The Beloved Prophet Muhammad (may peace and blessings be upon him).

Oh, and I just got an excerpt (it's just the author's note and prelude actually) from the book right here.
Just makes me want to read it even more..

Monday, December 27, 2010

Incoherently Illiterate

Neither rhyme nor reason will lend me a hand,
My usual prose behaving like a handful of sand,
In this turmoil of frustration,
Sorrow,
Anger,
Joy,
And fear
The more I think life is trying to harvest my tears..

In this silence I am agonized,
Yet in my speech I am stunted,
So what refuge is there left
For this hunter that has become hunted?

My instincts are screaming
Find a cave now you fool!
Then hide and stay hidden
That's always been your best tool..

Yet here I still stand,
Neither a flicker in my eyes,
Nor a word on my lips
Left in this corpse of my despicable disguise..

Saturday, December 18, 2010

what's the point?


“Rafael hanya bisa geleng-geleng kepala. Hati pribumi yang dia temui mungkin berbeda, tetapi otak mereka sama: tolol. Tidak memiliki hasrat dan rasa ingin tahu yang besar sebagaimana manusia dari peradaban maju seperti dirinya.”

E.S. Ito, Rahasia Meede

Kita adalah bangsa yang pasif. Bangsa yang terlalu sering mengelu-elukan kata ‘kemerdekaan’ persis karena kondisi itulah yang masih belum bisa kita capai hingga saat ini. Bangsa yang tidak hanya kalah sebelum perang, tetapi justru bersantai-santai di kemahnya sembari bermain-main dengan senjata yang dimilikinya. Bangsa yang terlalu mudah dipuaskan dengan pencapaian seadanya sehingga tidak ada sebersit pun rasa ingin lebih maju daripada yang lain. Bangsa yang anak-anaknya bahkan tidak pernah didorong untuk bertanya, berdiskusi, berdebat, ataupun mengutarakan pendapatnya sendiri karena telah dicekoki peraturan bahwa setiap jawaban adalah mutlak dan hanya bisa bersumber dari serangkaian pilihan-pilihan yang sudah ditentukan oleh segelintir orang-orang terpilih, sehingga ide-ide innovatif khas para kaum muda yang menjadi penggerak kemajuan bangsa-bangsa lain, justru diabaikan tanpa pertimbangan sesaat pun. Mungkin ini memang nasib para pemuda-pemudi Indonesia. Kami para pewaris negara yang bagaikan mobil tak berisi bensin ini; asalkan masih bisa memenuhi fungsi sebagai tempat berlindung, kami tidak akan peduli apakah mobil ini bisa jalan atau tidak, toh semuanya nampak sama bagi kami.

Entah kenapa hari ini lagi rada nasionalis gini. Mungkin efek dari baca novel Indo untuk pertama kalinya? Can’t say for sure really. Tapi lama-lama emang prihatin sih. Indonesia emang negara yang berkembang, tapi adatnya masih kayak orang terbelakang. Liat aja, fasilitas umum kita mana ada yang tahan lebih dari setahun? Tempat sampah udah di depan mata tapi masih aja buang sampah sembarangan. Seperti yang ibuku sering bilang, "Mental negara maju, itu yang masih belum kita punya.”

It’s true that we’re not supposed to be too absorbed with the riches of this world – being a Muslim, this is a very familiar concept for me that’s quite frequently stressed upon in the Qur’an – but that doesn’t mean that we should sell every last handful of this land we supposedly call our nation into foreign hands; I wouldn’t even call it selling really, since what we receive in payment is nowhere near to the value of what we have given to these gold-adorned thieves. Besides, I don’t think it really fulfills the purpose of staying away from materialistic desires if this all too philanthropic act of giving away our invaluable resources – both natural and human – is actually forcing our citizens to have to strive even harder just to make enough to live. I mean think about it, if we’re letting go of all these resources that should’ve been meant to ensure the welfare of our citizens, then that means they’ll just be more forced to look for money in other, less convenient places. In some of the more fatal cases, most of them will end up being directors or ministers in charge of the fundamental building blocks of our society. But they will not do so because they have an undying passion to pursue the nation’s interest in that certain field they are responsible for. Most will simply do it is a means of putting rice on the table. And so it is that this great nation of ours is left devoid of leaders with any will to bring any significant development to this country. 

I realize that there have been others who have brought this issue to light in more elaborate and eloquent expositions than mine, but for some reason much still hasn’t changed. For what it’s worth, at least this writing can become a reminder for me that this nation needs me more than ever. Needs all of us more than ever. And if not that, then paling nggak hari ini sudah bisa lebih produktif karena tidak diselimuti pusing dan demam lagi. Maaf bagi semua yang terkena imbas mood burukku kemarin..

*note to self: Indoglishnya semakin parah ini sih -_-

Saturday, December 11, 2010

my daily omen

"So The Miner's structured very differently from, say, Soseki's Sanshiro, your typical modern bildungsroman?
I nod. "I don't know about that, but you might be right. Sanshiro grows up in the story. Runs into obstacles, ponders things, overcomes difficulties, right? But the hero of The Miner's different. All he does is watch things happen and accept it all. I mean, every now and again he gives his own opinions, but nothing very deep. Instead, he just broods over his love affair. He comes out of the mine pretty much the same as he went in. He has no sense that it was something he decided to do himself, or that he had a choice. He's.... totally passive."

- Haruki Murakami


*stumbled upon this passage while reading Kafka on The Shore this morning, and for some reason, it felt like a slap in the face... I hope I'll finally be able to wake up after this..

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Rasulullah bersabda dalam hadits yang diriwayatkan dari Anas bin Malik :
“Tiga hal yang barangsiapa ketiganya ada pada dirinya, niscaya dia akan mendapatkan manisnya iman. Hendaklah Allah dan Rasul-Nya lebih ia cintai daripada selain keduanya, dan hendaklah dia mencintai seseorang dan tidaklah dia mencintainya melainkan karena Allah, dan hendaklah dia benci untuk kembali kepada kekufuran setelah Allah selamatkan dia dari kekufuran itu sebagaimana dia benci untuk dilemparkan ke dalam neraka.” (HR. Al-Bukhari no. 16 dan Muslim no. 43)

Ibnul Qayyim mengatakan bahwa di antara sebab-sebab adanya cinta (kepada Allah) ada sepuluh perkara:

Pertama, membaca Al Qur’an, menggali, dan memahami makna-maknanya serta apa yang dimaukannya.
Kedua, mendekatkan diri kepada Allah dengan amalan-amalan sunnah setelah amalan wajib.
Ketiga, terus-menerus berdzikir dalam setiap keadaan.
Keempat, mengutamakan kecintaan Allah di atas kecintaanmu ketika bergejolaknya nafsu.
Kelima, hati yang selalu menggali nama-nama dan sifat-sifat Allah, menyaksikan dan mengetahuinya.
Keenam, menyaksikan kebaikan-kebaikan Allah dan segala nikmat-Nya.
Ketujuh, tunduknya hati di hadapan Allah .
Kedelapan, berkhalwat (menyendiri dalam bermunajat) bersama-Nya ketika Allah turun (ke langit dunia).
Kesembilan, duduk bersama orang-orang yang memiliki sifat cinta dan jujur.
Kesepuluh, menjauhkan segala sebab-sebab yang akan menghalangi hati dari Allah . (Madarijus Salikin, 3/18, dengan ringkas)

death.

I am a thief in the dark of night,
A passerby unwanted by many
But in one lone house emanating plight,
I found one who welcomed my entry

Curious, I stepped inside
And found an altar ready and waiting
But before I could stop what was to come
I became witness to a scene most dismaying..

A life taken before its time
An action done by many
Too weak to hold on at its time of decline
It chose to take the path most easy

A life taken before its time
Still much to do and say and feel
Yet gone before its prime
Leaving countless wounds to heal

A life taken before its time
I hope you do not do the same my friend
I beg of you,
Please, just hold on..

*dedicated to my best friend's best friend, who chose to leave this world before she had to.. Be strong Jiji..

Sunday, December 5, 2010

A Life Abandoned


Beneath the glimmer of a naked bulb,
Within the embrace of the cold night's air,
He lives.

Under the shadow of another,
Huddled inside a paper-thin layer,
He lives.

With hands worn out,
With shirt in tatters,
With all hope gone,
With companions forgotten,
And still, he lives...

*found this bit of poetry after my stint of rummaging through my paper-filled cabinets yesterday. wrote it way back in tenth grade ESL where it was supposed to be based on a photograph that Emily gave us from the newspaper; mine was about a homeless guy wrapped up in front of a hotel in Brazil, but since i don't have access to a scanner, i just ended up taking a photo off Google (couldn't find the same, exact one, but it's close enough). just thought it'd be nice to share.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Soliloquy no.2

"Ya Allah, if this is really what You have decided is best for me, then ease me in doing so."

This sentence has flown from my lips so many times now I've lost count. I've whispered it before taking the Ruthin School scholarship test, before the provincial selections for the Economics Olympiad, and during the 30 seconds of prayer time before each and every one of the Oct/Nov Cambridge exams last month. For most of these occasions, the only reason that I said these words were mostly because I was at a point where I felt I'd done all that I could do and I'd just be grateful for whatever outcome He had already planned for me. But every time, there was always a small tremor of hope that accompanied these words as I said them. A hope that I'd actually be successful in whatever it was I was doing at that moment (and on one quite notable occasion, my hopes were actually realized)

Pas seleksi OSK ekonomi, gue juga berdoa kayak gini. Tapi waktu itu, gue juga sempat nambahin "kalau bidang ini ternyata memang yang telah Engkau takdirkan untukku, maka izinkan aku untuk lolos dari seleksi kali ini." Dan ternyata.. ta-da! gue lolos. Berarti, mungkin meskipun selama ini gue selalu ngerasa udah salah milih jurusan dan seharusnya jadi anak IPA aja, sepertinya Tuhan memang udah nentuin kalo gue ini emang lebih baik jadi anak IPS (meskipun gue ngak lolos seleksi OSPnya). And to be fair, I don't really regret being a student of Humanities that much (not that I could really change disciplines in the middle of the school year). But I have met a lot of inspiring people in this discipline. People who love the exhilarating and malleable world of the social sciences so much they've sought ways above and beyond what is required of them as students to completely immerse themselves in these worlds before they're even required to do so. And that's kind of what has given me the determination to realize my own dreams with as much passion and fervor as I have now.

So, I don't know.. Before, I'd been really hoping for a second chance to get into the wonderful world of science once I get to college, but it turns out my parents have other expectations for me. And I have to admit, I have been asking God for Him to show me the best path for me to take. So, this just might be His way of answering..

So now it's down to either International Relations or Management for me. Which path I'll take out of these two I still don't know. What I do know is that I've got a dream that I still want to fulfill, and having to start it in a different way to what I'd previously planned doesn't mean that I have to give up on it completely. Not while I can still try. Bismillah..


"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." -Jimmy Dean