Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Aishiteru Nippon :3
Sometimes, there are those moments that are so great you just can't satisfy yourself by expressing them in 140 characters or less. Moments that make me appreciate just how liberating writing in Blogger is. Moments like my trip to Japan.
I've been pretty quiet on the blogging front lately haven't I? I'd apologize for my disappearance but since there are no readers that are actually following these little tidbits of my life, then I think I'll suffice with my own self-apology. Sorry self. There.
So, Japan. The land of falling cherry blossoms, of leaves in their radiantly full 'koyo' phase, of schoolkids with bouncing square backpacks, of raw fish and vegetables as daily morsels, of chillingly cold beauty, and of warm bonds newly formed..
It was here that I saw for the first time rows of Edo-style houses more elegantly constructed than I had ever dreamed of. It was here that I realized just how bland real Japanese food tasted, although the health factor was far beyond what I'd expected. And it was here that I forged the bonds of an unexpectedly strong friendship with 9 other amazing people from 3 different countries (this last part is my favorite). I miss all of our laughter and tense negotiations, snide remarks and witty jokes, taking photographs with the widest smiles our mouths could manage and our two forefingers raised in the 'peace' sign, symbolizing our team number.
I came to Japan leaving my family, yet I returned with two new families :)
I really don't know how I can thank God enough for this incredible opportunity that I've been given. For all of the incredible opportunities I've been allowed to enjoy in the past. All I know is that I'll never give up, InsyaAllah, in trying to repay God's grace to me in this world :)
I've been pretty quiet on the blogging front lately haven't I? I'd apologize for my disappearance but since there are no readers that are actually following these little tidbits of my life, then I think I'll suffice with my own self-apology. Sorry self. There.
So, Japan. The land of falling cherry blossoms, of leaves in their radiantly full 'koyo' phase, of schoolkids with bouncing square backpacks, of raw fish and vegetables as daily morsels, of chillingly cold beauty, and of warm bonds newly formed..
It was here that I saw for the first time rows of Edo-style houses more elegantly constructed than I had ever dreamed of. It was here that I realized just how bland real Japanese food tasted, although the health factor was far beyond what I'd expected. And it was here that I forged the bonds of an unexpectedly strong friendship with 9 other amazing people from 3 different countries (this last part is my favorite). I miss all of our laughter and tense negotiations, snide remarks and witty jokes, taking photographs with the widest smiles our mouths could manage and our two forefingers raised in the 'peace' sign, symbolizing our team number.
And then there's the Indonesian delegation. Probably the rowdiest group of kids I've ever had the immense pleasure of knowing. 24 of the most insane picture loving, boisterous, kind, incredibly smart, and immensely loving people all gathered under one banner. Not a night ever went by without our coming together to practice for our farewell party performance. Tiring of course, considering our extremely tight schedules during the day, and yet even with all this I never really felt tired being among them. Yanti, Male, Brata, Ka Wiwid, Caca, Erwan, Yusuf, Iam, Rista, Ema, Inas, Shila, Fiska, Zahra, Ojan, Haykal, Ibnu, Arry, Irma, Ully, Ange, Ncan, and Mba Bunga, I really really hope we can meet again someday, all 25 of us :)
I came to Japan leaving my family, yet I returned with two new families :)
I really don't know how I can thank God enough for this incredible opportunity that I've been given. For all of the incredible opportunities I've been allowed to enjoy in the past. All I know is that I'll never give up, InsyaAllah, in trying to repay God's grace to me in this world :)
Monday, October 1, 2012
Fotografi - Ilmu Penghentian Waktu
I've seen a lot of blank screens lately, but most of them were prior to college task-making activities, rarely (if ever) have I faced a blank screen for a blog post in a really really long time. So, taking that all in stride, I thought I'd post this little tidbit from my Philosophy class yesterday. It's not exactly the most awe-inspiring and mind rattling article out there for a philosophical piece (especially compared to the sufi-like scriptures of some of my other microcosmical-goddess-friends) but it's a start; both for my philosophical journey and for the revival of my blogging activities. Here we go:
Eksistensi kita di dunia ini tidak pernah ada hentinya (kecuali ketika maut menjemput). Setiap saat, detik-detik berlalu, menit-menit seolah melayang, dan kini lewatnya jam dan hari pun sudah tidak terasa lagi. Manusia hidup dalam masa yang serba-cepat, serba tergesa-gesa, serba tiba-tiba. Tiba-tiba sudah seminggu berlalu, tiba-tiba sudah berulang tahun lagi, tiba-tiba, tiba-tiba, tiba-tiba sudah meninggal..
Dalam era serba ketiba-tibaan seperti ini, terkadang semuanya terasa berjalan begitu saja. Hambar. Hampa. Bagaikan rujak yang diblender sehingga rasa dari masing-masing buah menjadi tidak teridentifikasi lagi. Padahal, terdapat begitu banyak peristiwa yang mewarnai dan memberikan rasa – baik asam, asin, manis, ataupun pahit – dalam kehidupan kita. Tetapi, dengan begitu cepatnya terpaan waktu yang berlalu, maka ingatan kita pun terkadang bagaikan pantai yang tergerus ombak. Jejak-jejak yang tadinya terbenam di pasir perlahan lenyap dengan setiap gelombang air yang kembali menyapu bersih permukaan pantai. Peristiwa-peristiwa yang terpenting dalam kehidupan kita menjadi seolah hilang tertelan ombak kehidupan.
Disinilah fotografi memainkan peran dalam kehidupan saya. Mengisi ruang-ruang kosong dalam alam pikiran yang entah bagaimana sudah terlupakan begitu saja. Melukiskan kembali peristiwa-peristiwa yang membuat saya bahagia untuk bisa dinostalgiakan di kemudian hari. Oleh karenanya, fotografi bagi saya tidak hanya sebatas seni, tetapi juga sebagai sebuah sistem pengarsipan memori. Andaikan setiap kenangan dalam hidup kita tersimpan dalam sebuah file cabinet raksasa, maka foto-foto itulah yang kemudian menjadi kunci bagi setiap kompartemen yang ada. Foto-foto itu yang menjadi katalisator bagi otak saya untuk mereka ulang kejadian-kejadian yang pernah saya alami, dan jika saya beruntung, mereka ulang perasaan yang saya rasakan pula ketika foto tersebut diambil. Kebahagiaan. Kesedihan. Ketenangan. Kesegalaan.
Bagi saya, seorang fotografer sejati bukanlah seseorang yang mendokumentasikan setiap saat secara terus-menerus, tetapi seorang fotografer sejati adalah mereka yang bisa merasakan momen yang tepat dan menyalurkan energi yang dirasakannya pada momen tersebut kepada jari-jari mereka untuk mengabadikannya. Teringat kembali hukum Newton mengenai kekekalan energi dimana energi tidak bisa diciptakan ataupun dihancurkan, hanya bisa ditransfer ke medium lain. Menurut saya, hal ini juga berlaku bagi fotografi. Terkadang energi dari sebuah senyuman yang terabadikan dalam sebuah lembaran foto ataupun rangkaian pixel bisa mengangkat ujung-ujung bibir kita untuk merekahkan kembali sebuah senyuman di lain hari.
Jika kehidupan manusia diibaratkan sebagai seonggok besi yang terus-menerus terciprati dan terkadang terguyur oleh berbagai hantaman cobaan, maka fotografi seolah membuat segala sesuatu terbuat dari stainless steel; senantiasa imun dari karat kehidupan. Inilah hal yang paling saya sukai dari fotografi. Keindahan yang bisa dinikmati sepanjang masa, tanpa adanya perubahan ataupun distorsi.
Eksistensi kita di dunia ini tidak pernah ada hentinya (kecuali ketika maut menjemput). Setiap saat, detik-detik berlalu, menit-menit seolah melayang, dan kini lewatnya jam dan hari pun sudah tidak terasa lagi. Manusia hidup dalam masa yang serba-cepat, serba tergesa-gesa, serba tiba-tiba. Tiba-tiba sudah seminggu berlalu, tiba-tiba sudah berulang tahun lagi, tiba-tiba, tiba-tiba, tiba-tiba sudah meninggal..
Dalam era serba ketiba-tibaan seperti ini, terkadang semuanya terasa berjalan begitu saja. Hambar. Hampa. Bagaikan rujak yang diblender sehingga rasa dari masing-masing buah menjadi tidak teridentifikasi lagi. Padahal, terdapat begitu banyak peristiwa yang mewarnai dan memberikan rasa – baik asam, asin, manis, ataupun pahit – dalam kehidupan kita. Tetapi, dengan begitu cepatnya terpaan waktu yang berlalu, maka ingatan kita pun terkadang bagaikan pantai yang tergerus ombak. Jejak-jejak yang tadinya terbenam di pasir perlahan lenyap dengan setiap gelombang air yang kembali menyapu bersih permukaan pantai. Peristiwa-peristiwa yang terpenting dalam kehidupan kita menjadi seolah hilang tertelan ombak kehidupan.
Disinilah fotografi memainkan peran dalam kehidupan saya. Mengisi ruang-ruang kosong dalam alam pikiran yang entah bagaimana sudah terlupakan begitu saja. Melukiskan kembali peristiwa-peristiwa yang membuat saya bahagia untuk bisa dinostalgiakan di kemudian hari. Oleh karenanya, fotografi bagi saya tidak hanya sebatas seni, tetapi juga sebagai sebuah sistem pengarsipan memori. Andaikan setiap kenangan dalam hidup kita tersimpan dalam sebuah file cabinet raksasa, maka foto-foto itulah yang kemudian menjadi kunci bagi setiap kompartemen yang ada. Foto-foto itu yang menjadi katalisator bagi otak saya untuk mereka ulang kejadian-kejadian yang pernah saya alami, dan jika saya beruntung, mereka ulang perasaan yang saya rasakan pula ketika foto tersebut diambil. Kebahagiaan. Kesedihan. Ketenangan. Kesegalaan.
Bagi saya, seorang fotografer sejati bukanlah seseorang yang mendokumentasikan setiap saat secara terus-menerus, tetapi seorang fotografer sejati adalah mereka yang bisa merasakan momen yang tepat dan menyalurkan energi yang dirasakannya pada momen tersebut kepada jari-jari mereka untuk mengabadikannya. Teringat kembali hukum Newton mengenai kekekalan energi dimana energi tidak bisa diciptakan ataupun dihancurkan, hanya bisa ditransfer ke medium lain. Menurut saya, hal ini juga berlaku bagi fotografi. Terkadang energi dari sebuah senyuman yang terabadikan dalam sebuah lembaran foto ataupun rangkaian pixel bisa mengangkat ujung-ujung bibir kita untuk merekahkan kembali sebuah senyuman di lain hari.
Jika kehidupan manusia diibaratkan sebagai seonggok besi yang terus-menerus terciprati dan terkadang terguyur oleh berbagai hantaman cobaan, maka fotografi seolah membuat segala sesuatu terbuat dari stainless steel; senantiasa imun dari karat kehidupan. Inilah hal yang paling saya sukai dari fotografi. Keindahan yang bisa dinikmati sepanjang masa, tanpa adanya perubahan ataupun distorsi.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Our Choice? Or Theirs?
Multiple Choice. That is the method of testing that the
Indonesian educational system has upheld since God knows when. For humans,
multiple choices are an unavoidable and integral part of our daily lives, from
the cradle to the grave. Every decision that we make has to take into account
hundreds, perhaps even thousands of other possibilities that could have been
had we chosen differently. So, you’d probably think that drilling our kids to
face this kind of future dilemma by teaching them from an early age how to pick
out the best choice out of several would be an appropriate way to test their
academic aptitude, right? Wrong.
For Indonesians or
even humans in general, few can argue with the fact that having your choices
laid out for you is the easiest way to start solving any problem. However, it
is when others set and limit these choices for you that unintended side effects
emerge. Many students, me included, have
come to the conclusion that the best way to face these questions is simply to
remember specific facts and answers and guess at anything else that we might
have forgotten to remember. And so, stripped of the need to use little more
than our superb ability of rote memorization –honed through decades of enduring
this learning practice – we Indonesians have slowly lagged behind the train of
global educational progress. We and several other less fortunate developing
nations have failed to instigate the wave of educational reform that has swept
through the schools and educational institutions of more developed countries,
years past; this has left us with what some foreigners have criticized as ‘an
archaic educational system’ – one so focused solely on rote memorization that creative
problem solving and analytical skills have been sorely neglected. Sadly, this
is especially evident in our final national examinations for high school or
UAN, where all of the questions for all 6 subject tests are comprised of
nothing more than multiple choice questions.
Perhaps it is for this reason that although Indonesia has
been frequently praised as being a gold mine for outstanding young
intellectuals, few have been able to make their way into the halls of
prestigious foreign universities on the basis of their UAN scores alone. And
so, it is this realization that has led groups of brave individuals – generally
school teachers and principals by profession, but educational reformists at
heart – to set up what we now know as SBI or Schools operating according to
International Standards. And at the heart of these innovative educational
institutions is the Cambridge International Curriculum.
For many of us facing this radically different foreign
curriculum for the first time, it is an overwhelming experience. At the start
of the school year, we are introduced to textbooks thick enough to be used as
pillows – and they might as well be after a couple of hours of reading through
their contents. To add to the horror, the language in which these books are
written is that of which many of us are still unfamiliar with: the language of
purely formal, college level English. This isn’t the same as the English you
hear in the latest Hollywood movies. Nor is it even close to the English you
use to talk with your teachers at EF. This is a wholly different breed, filled
with alien phrases like homeostasis and critical path analyses.
And yet, the Cambridge curriculum shouldn’t be one that we
greet with enmity or fear, instead we should use it as a stepping stone to help
upgrade our own educational system, because Cambridge not only teaches us to know
what the answer to a question is, but
why and how it could be better. Being 12th year students of
Humanities, my friends and I have faced our fair share of mind-boggling,
multiple page essays that have often pushed us to the brink of mental and
physical exhaustion. However, it is through these essays that we have learnt
the core of what Cambridge aims to teach and that is – as a certain teacher of
mine always enjoys saying – to ‘go beyond’, to give more than what is asked
because in this case your thoughts and opinions are just as relevant as any
expected ’textbook’ answer. And it is in this aspect that I feel we as
Indonesian students still lack the courage and understanding to do so – at
least, for now that is.
Fished out this little snippet from one of my old castaway folders. It suddenly brought back a whole load of memories, and not just those of high school, but of middle school too. I hope you're having a great time out there Ms. Julia, God knows all of the little shakespeares you left in this world miss you beyond comprehension. :')
Saturday, May 26, 2012
OLYMPUSIA 2011~!
I don't normally write posts this early in the morning, especially not when I've only had less than 3 hours of sleep the night before. But this is one of those moments that I couldn't possibly not write about. Yak, jadi kemarin malam itu adalah acara puncak dari serangkaian acara 'pengakraban' antar dan inter angkatan yang sudah dinantikan dari berbulan-bulan yang lalu. Eh, ga 'dinantikan' juga deng. Bahkan, dua hari sebelumnya, alias H-2 acara, gw udah up to my neck with all of that stuff dan pengen buang jauh-jauh segala hal yang berkaitan dengan kata-kata 'Makrab' dan 'OLYMPUSIA'. But I guess this is a bit biased, terutama karena mulai H-2 rasanya segala sesuatu yang gue lakukan itu pasti ada kaitannya dengan makrab ini; yang desain sertifikat lah, desain ID card, desain undangan, download bumper, dan siapa coba yang ga bakal frustasi ketika dihadapkan dengan pekerjaan sebanyak ini dengan waktu semendadak itu :P
Tapi, pas hari H, meskipun paginya masih hectic parah lelarian dengan rute sekitar venue-percetakan-kosan-venue lagi, sembari sesekali panic bersama koor tercinta karena rasanya banyaaak bgt gawean yang belum beres tapi justru makin tambah banyak thanks to anak2 acara yang ide2nya luar biasa cemerlang buat ini itu tapi pubdok yang jadi ribet ga kepalang karena mereka yang mesti ngrealisasiin ide2 tersebut. Contoh: pas pagi2 masih heboh ngurusin video persembahan yang entah kenapa rasanya ga selesai2 padahal udah 3 minggu dlm pembuatan, ada aja request dari Hani buat bikin bumper buat ditampilin pas nominasi 'Olympusia Awards'. Awalnya gw masih 'oke, oke' aja krn pikiran pun masih terfokus pada alur video yang masih berantakan parah. Tapi pas Hani udah pergi, gw baru nyadar apa yang barusan gw okein itu butuh software macam iMovie biar bisa ngehasilin bumper yang lumayan oke dan at least 2 jam buat nyusunnya. I forgot what I said but I definitely shouted in panic at Michi at that moment ketika gw nyadar seberapa impossiblenya hal tersebut ._.
Pas acara udah mulai pun, jujur gw masih belom ngerasain tuh feel dari 'malam pengakraban' itu sendiri. Yang kerasa justru feel 'malam'nya karena setelah 5 jam standby di photobooth dari jam 6 sampe 11an, sakit dan kantuk yang dirasakan oleh mata gw udah ga bisa gw jelasin lagi. 5 hours of continuous squinting through my camera's viewfinder for god's sake, gimana ga pegel, dan ditambah fakta bahwa malam sudah semakin larut dan ngantuk nyaris tak tertahankan, jadi lengkaplah penderitaan gw; Reiza aja yang standby di photobooth juga udah give up sekitar jam 9/10an gara2 pusing nutupin mata sesering itu.
Tapi, meskipun 5 jam itu bener2 lelah bgt, gw teramat sangat bersyukur ditempatkan di situ (sebenarnya gw sih yang menempatkan diri di situ krn males aja jalan2 & cammie pun kalo dipake di dalam ruangan hasilnya jelek bgt ternyata :P) karena disitulah gw banyak bgt bertemu, berinteraksi, dan tentunya motoin (dan foto bareng juga sih, hehe) sama senior2 HI yang ternyata not so bad after all. Dari yang mulai foto dengan gaya2 teramat kocak dan aneh, minta difotoin pake BB/iPad/D-SLRnya (ada tuh saat dimana gw megang 2 D-SLR dan satu BB dan gw cuma bisa berdiri cengok mikirin "semoga ga ada yang jatoh, semoga ga ada yg jatoh"), foto satu angkatan, dan pas akhir2 malah gantian difoto sama senior, haha. Asli, gw ga nyangka banget, terutama karena senior yang ngajak gw foto justru dari angkatan yang bisa dibilang lumayan gw 'kurang sukai' karena beberapa insiden saat PORANG sebelumnya, dan nyaris juga gw berpikiran hal yang sama pas malam makrab itu karena mereka minta difoto bangsa 7-10 kali tapi masih ga bosen2 juga. tapi akhirnya entah karena kasihan atau apa, kang Awan (gw baru tau namanya setelah selesai acara lah, hehe) narik gw dari kamera dan bilang "weh, ayo ayo gantian gw yang motoin lo sana, pose yak pose". Dan saat itulah ketika gw ga hanya motoin senior2 yang datang tapi justru ikut difoto dan have fun bareng mereka, gw mulai ngerasa ada barrier yang runtuh saat itu juga.
But of course, ga ada yang bisa ngalahin asiknya event setelah rangkaian acara udah selesai dan senior2 udah berangsur pulang, yakni band 2011 dan FLASHMOB! Itu euforia yang ga akan pernah gw lupakan dan ingin banget rasanya gw ulang lagi karena gw yakin ga akan ada lagi saat dimana angkatan kita (meskipun ga terlalu lengkap juga mlm itu) nari poco2, shuffle dance, dan heavy rotation dari JKT 48 dengan semeriah dan sesemangat itu. Ditambah perayaan ultah inggrid dan foto bareng seangkatan, it really was the perfect closing for a truly amazing night. Meskipun ternyata kata Sarah yg jadi LO senior2 angkatan tua, makrab ini masih jauh banget dari tujuannya untuk mengakrabkan antar dan inter angkatan, i still feel that last night was an awesome success! Thank you Bilal for leading us through Porang. Thank you Omen & Juan for leading us through Makrab. Thank you Michi for being a rather slow but still surprisingly responsible coordinator. Thank you seniors for coming. But most of all, thank you to HI UNPAD 2011!
And now, photos of course!
Tapi, pas hari H, meskipun paginya masih hectic parah lelarian dengan rute sekitar venue-percetakan-kosan-venue lagi, sembari sesekali panic bersama koor tercinta karena rasanya banyaaak bgt gawean yang belum beres tapi justru makin tambah banyak thanks to anak2 acara yang ide2nya luar biasa cemerlang buat ini itu tapi pubdok yang jadi ribet ga kepalang karena mereka yang mesti ngrealisasiin ide2 tersebut. Contoh: pas pagi2 masih heboh ngurusin video persembahan yang entah kenapa rasanya ga selesai2 padahal udah 3 minggu dlm pembuatan, ada aja request dari Hani buat bikin bumper buat ditampilin pas nominasi 'Olympusia Awards'. Awalnya gw masih 'oke, oke' aja krn pikiran pun masih terfokus pada alur video yang masih berantakan parah. Tapi pas Hani udah pergi, gw baru nyadar apa yang barusan gw okein itu butuh software macam iMovie biar bisa ngehasilin bumper yang lumayan oke dan at least 2 jam buat nyusunnya. I forgot what I said but I definitely shouted in panic at Michi at that moment ketika gw nyadar seberapa impossiblenya hal tersebut ._.
Pas acara udah mulai pun, jujur gw masih belom ngerasain tuh feel dari 'malam pengakraban' itu sendiri. Yang kerasa justru feel 'malam'nya karena setelah 5 jam standby di photobooth dari jam 6 sampe 11an, sakit dan kantuk yang dirasakan oleh mata gw udah ga bisa gw jelasin lagi. 5 hours of continuous squinting through my camera's viewfinder for god's sake, gimana ga pegel, dan ditambah fakta bahwa malam sudah semakin larut dan ngantuk nyaris tak tertahankan, jadi lengkaplah penderitaan gw; Reiza aja yang standby di photobooth juga udah give up sekitar jam 9/10an gara2 pusing nutupin mata sesering itu.
Tapi, meskipun 5 jam itu bener2 lelah bgt, gw teramat sangat bersyukur ditempatkan di situ (sebenarnya gw sih yang menempatkan diri di situ krn males aja jalan2 & cammie pun kalo dipake di dalam ruangan hasilnya jelek bgt ternyata :P) karena disitulah gw banyak bgt bertemu, berinteraksi, dan tentunya motoin (dan foto bareng juga sih, hehe) sama senior2 HI yang ternyata not so bad after all. Dari yang mulai foto dengan gaya2 teramat kocak dan aneh, minta difotoin pake BB/iPad/D-SLRnya (ada tuh saat dimana gw megang 2 D-SLR dan satu BB dan gw cuma bisa berdiri cengok mikirin "semoga ga ada yang jatoh, semoga ga ada yg jatoh"), foto satu angkatan, dan pas akhir2 malah gantian difoto sama senior, haha. Asli, gw ga nyangka banget, terutama karena senior yang ngajak gw foto justru dari angkatan yang bisa dibilang lumayan gw 'kurang sukai' karena beberapa insiden saat PORANG sebelumnya, dan nyaris juga gw berpikiran hal yang sama pas malam makrab itu karena mereka minta difoto bangsa 7-10 kali tapi masih ga bosen2 juga. tapi akhirnya entah karena kasihan atau apa, kang Awan (gw baru tau namanya setelah selesai acara lah, hehe) narik gw dari kamera dan bilang "weh, ayo ayo gantian gw yang motoin lo sana, pose yak pose". Dan saat itulah ketika gw ga hanya motoin senior2 yang datang tapi justru ikut difoto dan have fun bareng mereka, gw mulai ngerasa ada barrier yang runtuh saat itu juga.
But of course, ga ada yang bisa ngalahin asiknya event setelah rangkaian acara udah selesai dan senior2 udah berangsur pulang, yakni band 2011 dan FLASHMOB! Itu euforia yang ga akan pernah gw lupakan dan ingin banget rasanya gw ulang lagi karena gw yakin ga akan ada lagi saat dimana angkatan kita (meskipun ga terlalu lengkap juga mlm itu) nari poco2, shuffle dance, dan heavy rotation dari JKT 48 dengan semeriah dan sesemangat itu. Ditambah perayaan ultah inggrid dan foto bareng seangkatan, it really was the perfect closing for a truly amazing night. Meskipun ternyata kata Sarah yg jadi LO senior2 angkatan tua, makrab ini masih jauh banget dari tujuannya untuk mengakrabkan antar dan inter angkatan, i still feel that last night was an awesome success! Thank you Bilal for leading us through Porang. Thank you Omen & Juan for leading us through Makrab. Thank you Michi for being a rather slow but still surprisingly responsible coordinator. Thank you seniors for coming. But most of all, thank you to HI UNPAD 2011!
And now, photos of course!
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| Me and my two lovely sisters, neng selma dan sarah yang ngebet banget ngajak gw foto bareng pasalnya karena mereka kasihan mikir gw jarang difoto padahal kyknya mereka emang cuma pengen banyak2 difoto aja, haha |
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| Me and Kelompok 1 Enlight (UNODC)! masih kompak lho sampai sekarang ;') |
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| Me and bro michi & reiza, yang satu koor pubdok tercinta, yang satu lagi partner in crime di photobooth malam itu. wajib lah kita foto bareng setelah kebanyakan moto-motoin orang lain |
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| Me, Kang Awan, Kang Aji, dan akang satu lagi gw blm sempet kenalan tapi muka & rambutnya mirip parah sama michi, yang ngajak gw foto bareng setelah menjadikan gw korban dari sekian banyak request foto mereka. btw, karena bingung mau pose gimana akhirnya jadi kyk gini aja deh, haha |
Thursday, May 17, 2012
One small step...
History and experience can tell you that big dreams start from small things. No matter how small they may be, the important thing is that 'it' is there. Started. Present. In the world. Not just in your mind. Or in your own private little unknown space. I hope this can be counted as one of those little steps towards realizing my own big dream.
I present to you: my deviantart page, hihi, entah kenapa senang bgt, terutama karena 20 menit stlh gue posting udah banyak yg ngeliat & "add to favorites". kyaa. deviantart today, front page news cover tomorrow (or sometime in the imminent future)
Monday, April 23, 2012
what's been holding me back..
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Maryanne Williamson
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Happy day~
There are these days when I really do complain so much and think so badly of the life I'm currently living. But then there are those days, those spontaneously miraculous days when my mind is cleared and I'm reminded of just how great a life I'm leading. Those are the days when I realize just how perfect all of this has been set up by Allah SWT. Usually I complain about the backwardness and humdrum life in Jatinangor, but on these special days I literally fall in love with everything in this town. I love the constantly cool weather (this is often the reason why I don't want to go back to the humid grip of Jakarta as frequently as some of my friends do). I love the warm and polite Sundanese natives (even the supposedly 'bad-boy' type kids here have a degree of politeness that Jakartan kids just completely lack). I love hearing them speak their lusciously lilting language (just hearing them talk all the time has made me wish I could speak Sundanese like them). But most of all, I love all of the unexpected experiences I've gotten while living here.
When I'm in class I almost feel as though I'm living out an episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Squidward decides to move to a new housing complex that's filled with squids who look, live, and have the same hobbies as he does, and he feels as though he's died and gone to Squidward heaven. This may be a bit hyperbolic I admit, but this is exactly how I feel when I'm with my HI friends. My friends in high school were great, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I really had to make an effort to be able to fit in and connect with them. With the kids in my class now though, just being myself is enough for me to be able to connect to them. I can talk to them about history (my all-time favorite subject), about the current going-ons in the world, about travelling, about our futures as diplomat wannabes, and best of all, I can talk to them about books. The fact that most Indonesians haven't developed an appetite for reading (other than comics) is among the top ten things that saddens me about this country. So imagine my delight at finding a crop of Indonesian kids that actually share my love of reading. And not just any books, mind you. During this last term break, my friend asked me if I could buy a book for her in Jakarta called "Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar". If you haven't guessed already by the title, this book is not one of those chick-lit readings or another one of those putatively inspirational memoirs. This thing is straight out of a philosophy course discussing the ideas of everyone from Plato to Descartes, yet served up in the form of playful jokes and banter to help it become more accessible to the public mind. I though this book was the kind of obscure gem that only people like me would enjoy reading, but hah, how happy was I to be proven wrong.
And you know what, Jatinangor, no matter how much I hated it initially and how much I still hate it occasionally, really can feel like my own little version of paradise sometimes. The weather here is deliciously cool, especially in the mornings and afternoons. And for a person that loves cold weather like I do, living here is the next best thing aside from actually living and going to college in a more temperate region abroad.
And another thing, you see, in high school I had Rohis, and now, despite not being a part of the official 'Rohis' (or more commonly known as DKM FISIP here), I find myself amongst the same community as I had back in my high school Rohis. The only difference is, I didn't voluntarily sign up for this community. I just somehow ended up here, amongst these wonderful women and sisters of mine that pretty much share the same views on life and Islam as I do. And although I was reluctant at first, I really think I've found my place among them and am ready to be guided by them in this life and the next. And while Rohis or DKM perhaps are more of a formal organisational group and sometimes feel as though they're more focused on organizing events at school/campus (although many will deny this). This community that I'm in now is focused solely on the spiritual development of each and every one of us, just us girls, no guys, so there really is no temptation to have a.. istilahnya mah niat yang melenceng gitu.. whenever we're called to attend the weekly gatherings. This is especially important for me since in high school, this was something I wasn't able to control so easily.
I know that compared to other universities, UNPAD isn't exactly top of the notch. And compared to other towns, Jatinangor is probably on a level of its own in terms of isolation and un-modernness. But, you know what, when I'm having these kind of days, I really couldn't care less because no matter how 'supposedly' not great my life seems here, I have only these words to say: I prayed for the best to happen in my life and God gave me exactly that, sometimes more, but never less. And I'm having a heck of a time making the best of it all :)
Btw, naik motor dari atas gerbang baru sampe kiara payung (ataupun sebaliknya) itu dahsyat nian, asli. Dan pemandangannya - to die for - kalo gue sempet ke sana lagi nanti gue fotoin deh. That's all for now~
When I'm in class I almost feel as though I'm living out an episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Squidward decides to move to a new housing complex that's filled with squids who look, live, and have the same hobbies as he does, and he feels as though he's died and gone to Squidward heaven. This may be a bit hyperbolic I admit, but this is exactly how I feel when I'm with my HI friends. My friends in high school were great, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I really had to make an effort to be able to fit in and connect with them. With the kids in my class now though, just being myself is enough for me to be able to connect to them. I can talk to them about history (my all-time favorite subject), about the current going-ons in the world, about travelling, about our futures as diplomat wannabes, and best of all, I can talk to them about books. The fact that most Indonesians haven't developed an appetite for reading (other than comics) is among the top ten things that saddens me about this country. So imagine my delight at finding a crop of Indonesian kids that actually share my love of reading. And not just any books, mind you. During this last term break, my friend asked me if I could buy a book for her in Jakarta called "Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar". If you haven't guessed already by the title, this book is not one of those chick-lit readings or another one of those putatively inspirational memoirs. This thing is straight out of a philosophy course discussing the ideas of everyone from Plato to Descartes, yet served up in the form of playful jokes and banter to help it become more accessible to the public mind. I though this book was the kind of obscure gem that only people like me would enjoy reading, but hah, how happy was I to be proven wrong.
And you know what, Jatinangor, no matter how much I hated it initially and how much I still hate it occasionally, really can feel like my own little version of paradise sometimes. The weather here is deliciously cool, especially in the mornings and afternoons. And for a person that loves cold weather like I do, living here is the next best thing aside from actually living and going to college in a more temperate region abroad.
And another thing, you see, in high school I had Rohis, and now, despite not being a part of the official 'Rohis' (or more commonly known as DKM FISIP here), I find myself amongst the same community as I had back in my high school Rohis. The only difference is, I didn't voluntarily sign up for this community. I just somehow ended up here, amongst these wonderful women and sisters of mine that pretty much share the same views on life and Islam as I do. And although I was reluctant at first, I really think I've found my place among them and am ready to be guided by them in this life and the next. And while Rohis or DKM perhaps are more of a formal organisational group and sometimes feel as though they're more focused on organizing events at school/campus (although many will deny this). This community that I'm in now is focused solely on the spiritual development of each and every one of us, just us girls, no guys, so there really is no temptation to have a.. istilahnya mah niat yang melenceng gitu.. whenever we're called to attend the weekly gatherings. This is especially important for me since in high school, this was something I wasn't able to control so easily.
I know that compared to other universities, UNPAD isn't exactly top of the notch. And compared to other towns, Jatinangor is probably on a level of its own in terms of isolation and un-modernness. But, you know what, when I'm having these kind of days, I really couldn't care less because no matter how 'supposedly' not great my life seems here, I have only these words to say: I prayed for the best to happen in my life and God gave me exactly that, sometimes more, but never less. And I'm having a heck of a time making the best of it all :)
Btw, naik motor dari atas gerbang baru sampe kiara payung (ataupun sebaliknya) itu dahsyat nian, asli. Dan pemandangannya - to die for - kalo gue sempet ke sana lagi nanti gue fotoin deh. That's all for now~
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
Rude awakening
Have you ever awoken,
in the searing austerity of no man's land?
a place where sound is unspoken
and there be no place to rest your hand
Your feet tread paths unseen
possibilities being overwhelmingly grand
but in the end, indecision is the only thing you glean
in this barren area of no man's land...
I can't tell you how terrifying it is to wake up suddenly feeling you've lost all purpose to live. I don't mean this in a dejected, suicidal way, but rather in a somewhat zoned-out way in which you really don't know what you're supposed to be doing with this precious little thing called life you've got continuously slipping away like a handful of sand. It was a bizarre feeling, and one that I really hadn't expected. To put it in other terms, it was like asking myself "What the hell have you been able to contribute to this world in the past 18 years and 8 months of your existence so far?" and all I could do was reply with a pitiful "I don't know. Nothing I guess". Surely it can't be that bad? Perhaps my mortal memory was to blame for my lack of finding anything that could've justified my existence so far. Or perhaps it all came down to the simple truth that I haven't actually done much at all to be remembered by..
I don't like lingering on negative thoughts like this. Which is why I sometimes forget and eventually just end up deluding myself into thinking that I'm breezing through life as perfectly as anyone could. But, of course, perfection and humans can't really go into the same sentence while still upholding at least an essence of truth; it's just part of our nature to be undeniably 'flawed' in some areas. But, I digress.
Back to the matter at hand, I think one of the major reasons I finally found myself cornered into acknowledging the problem I was facing was because I suddenly didn't know just what the heck I'll be doing after I graduate. I started the 'if only' game with my past self again, 'if only I'd put more thought into my choice of classes during that middle year of high school', 'if only I'd have been brave enough to try out for those scholarships abroad' (I called it quits before I even gave any sponsors a try; an idiotic and cowardly mistake), and now, will I still be mad enough to try a drastic change in majors? I can tell you I was seriously tempted to do so at one point after watching this Blue Planet documentary on deep sea creatures (or perhaps I should just stop watching nature documentaries? that'd be an easier solution, no doubt, haha)
Because, truth be told, my outlook on international relations isn't as excited as people might expect. I remember when I came off with an almost disgust for the whole studies and practice of it all after I'd (half) read Independent Diplomat by Carne Ross. Because of that book I finally saw diplomacy or perhaps more precisely the foreign services for what it really was, another bureaucratically laden chunk of taxpayers' money that dealt with problems so literally 'out there' that it never really seemed to help those that really needed it. The UN, the INGO's, and even the embassies, (but particularly the UN) oftentimes, and as ironic as this may seem, are just too big to directly deal with the problems that the small people out there are facing on a day-to-day basis. Conferences are held, plenary sessions are conducted annually, and yet, more often than not all that they really are are an excuse to have what could essentially be deemed as a paid vacation in a ritzy hotel for a week or so whilst occasionally churning out treaties and resolutions that don't even make much of a difference. I can't say it's not enjoyable. No doubt anyone would jump at the opportunity to set foot in exciting new countries on a near monthly basis. But travelling's just supposed to be a perk of the job, not the main essence of it. The last time my dad came back from one of these conferences (an IRENA con at Dubai a couple weeks back) he didn't exactly come home with the air of someone who'd just played a part in shaping the fate of the world (okay, that's a bit hyperbolic). But that's what diplomats are supposed to do, right? We're the agents of change for the entire world. We have the power to make resolutions that can impact the lives of 6 billion people all across the globe. There's got to be some kind of satisfaction after knowing that you'd played such an integral role. Unless, that's not what really happens, and all of that agents of change hubbub was just a part of that quintessentially diplomatic sweet talk to mask the blandly uneventful reality of it all. And that's a problem for me.
I want to get out there. I want go down with people from all walks of life and just utterly give myself to them in whatever way I can to help (perhaps if I weren't so squeamish I would've just studied to be a doctor, then this all too altruistic desire of mine would at least be easier sated). I want that satisfaction of knowing that I did something worthwhile in my life, something that really left its mark not only in myself but also in other people around me. So why the heck did I choose to keep trudging along this path, even though I am and have been aware that I've been 'trudging' along it all this time? Perhaps it's because I've just given up already. Or perhaps it's actually destined to be this way.. Okay, blaming it all on madame fate is a pretty low blow, so I won't give in that easily, but I guess that's the best I can do until I figure out what it is I'm going to do with myself.
in the searing austerity of no man's land?
a place where sound is unspoken
and there be no place to rest your hand
Your feet tread paths unseen
possibilities being overwhelmingly grand
but in the end, indecision is the only thing you glean
in this barren area of no man's land...
I can't tell you how terrifying it is to wake up suddenly feeling you've lost all purpose to live. I don't mean this in a dejected, suicidal way, but rather in a somewhat zoned-out way in which you really don't know what you're supposed to be doing with this precious little thing called life you've got continuously slipping away like a handful of sand. It was a bizarre feeling, and one that I really hadn't expected. To put it in other terms, it was like asking myself "What the hell have you been able to contribute to this world in the past 18 years and 8 months of your existence so far?" and all I could do was reply with a pitiful "I don't know. Nothing I guess". Surely it can't be that bad? Perhaps my mortal memory was to blame for my lack of finding anything that could've justified my existence so far. Or perhaps it all came down to the simple truth that I haven't actually done much at all to be remembered by..
I don't like lingering on negative thoughts like this. Which is why I sometimes forget and eventually just end up deluding myself into thinking that I'm breezing through life as perfectly as anyone could. But, of course, perfection and humans can't really go into the same sentence while still upholding at least an essence of truth; it's just part of our nature to be undeniably 'flawed' in some areas. But, I digress.
Back to the matter at hand, I think one of the major reasons I finally found myself cornered into acknowledging the problem I was facing was because I suddenly didn't know just what the heck I'll be doing after I graduate. I started the 'if only' game with my past self again, 'if only I'd put more thought into my choice of classes during that middle year of high school', 'if only I'd have been brave enough to try out for those scholarships abroad' (I called it quits before I even gave any sponsors a try; an idiotic and cowardly mistake), and now, will I still be mad enough to try a drastic change in majors? I can tell you I was seriously tempted to do so at one point after watching this Blue Planet documentary on deep sea creatures (or perhaps I should just stop watching nature documentaries? that'd be an easier solution, no doubt, haha)
Because, truth be told, my outlook on international relations isn't as excited as people might expect. I remember when I came off with an almost disgust for the whole studies and practice of it all after I'd (half) read Independent Diplomat by Carne Ross. Because of that book I finally saw diplomacy or perhaps more precisely the foreign services for what it really was, another bureaucratically laden chunk of taxpayers' money that dealt with problems so literally 'out there' that it never really seemed to help those that really needed it. The UN, the INGO's, and even the embassies, (but particularly the UN) oftentimes, and as ironic as this may seem, are just too big to directly deal with the problems that the small people out there are facing on a day-to-day basis. Conferences are held, plenary sessions are conducted annually, and yet, more often than not all that they really are are an excuse to have what could essentially be deemed as a paid vacation in a ritzy hotel for a week or so whilst occasionally churning out treaties and resolutions that don't even make much of a difference. I can't say it's not enjoyable. No doubt anyone would jump at the opportunity to set foot in exciting new countries on a near monthly basis. But travelling's just supposed to be a perk of the job, not the main essence of it. The last time my dad came back from one of these conferences (an IRENA con at Dubai a couple weeks back) he didn't exactly come home with the air of someone who'd just played a part in shaping the fate of the world (okay, that's a bit hyperbolic). But that's what diplomats are supposed to do, right? We're the agents of change for the entire world. We have the power to make resolutions that can impact the lives of 6 billion people all across the globe. There's got to be some kind of satisfaction after knowing that you'd played such an integral role. Unless, that's not what really happens, and all of that agents of change hubbub was just a part of that quintessentially diplomatic sweet talk to mask the blandly uneventful reality of it all. And that's a problem for me.
I want to get out there. I want go down with people from all walks of life and just utterly give myself to them in whatever way I can to help (perhaps if I weren't so squeamish I would've just studied to be a doctor, then this all too altruistic desire of mine would at least be easier sated). I want that satisfaction of knowing that I did something worthwhile in my life, something that really left its mark not only in myself but also in other people around me. So why the heck did I choose to keep trudging along this path, even though I am and have been aware that I've been 'trudging' along it all this time? Perhaps it's because I've just given up already. Or perhaps it's actually destined to be this way.. Okay, blaming it all on madame fate is a pretty low blow, so I won't give in that easily, but I guess that's the best I can do until I figure out what it is I'm going to do with myself.
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