There are days like today when I really really miss you. And yet I know I can't let myself be tempted to contact you, because it'll just make things harder and more confusing for us again. Last night, I braved myself to read our last conversation in FB. I thought I was going to be emotionally drained after reading it, but surprisingly it calmed me and gave me the strength to hold true to the decision we made. I'm holding on to that last promise I made to you, that I wouldn't be sad or depressed just because we won't be having any more special sundays or late night chats. It's hard, and as you can see (if you could read this), there are days when it's especially hard to keep true to that promise. But writing like this is helping me a bit. It seems all I really needed was a place to vent out my thoughts and feelings. You were that place for me for almost a month and I became addicted to the solace that I found in sharing those thoughts and feelings with you. Addicted to the happiness and gratitude that I felt in knowing that someone was always ready to listen and care enough to comfort me and make me laugh again when I was feeling down. The thing that still saddens me until now is that when I said goodbye to you, I realized that I didn't just lose a person whom I dearly loved and loved me back, but I also lost one of the best friends I've ever had (even if for only a short period of time).

If you are magically reading this somehow, don't worry, I'm okay. I promised you that and I'll keep true to my promise. That first promise to you I can't keep though, because I still feel that there's a chance for us, and if God wills it then there's really no one else I'd rather wait for for all my life. I love you martian man, I miss saying this to you, but hopefully there'll be a time again when I can say it directly to you and not just write it down in paltry little words like this.

As you said to me before, "kung ikaw ang nakatakda para sa akin, siguradong tayo'y magkikitang muli, mahal kita, mahal na mahal." :)