Wednesday, August 31, 2011

My Wonderful Extended Family :)

Today was supposed to be about me devoting myself exclusively to my family, but for some reason, this family and the memories I shared with them, was the only thing on my mind for the entire day... 





"Family isn't whose blood you carry, it's who you love and who loves you."
— Jackie Chan Spy Next Door

A Lovely Lebaran

Lebaran tahun ini,
On the road ke rumah saudara, di jalanan tiba-tiba nostalgia. Ngelewatin jalur busway yang ke arah Tomang, keingat dulu pas mau iceskating+beli kado pernikahan Kak Nita di MTA. Sebenernya perjalanan pulangnya sih yang lebih berkesan. Why? Karena itu pertama kalinya gue dan kawan-kawan naik ‘busway sarden’ alias busway jam orang pulang kantor, yang saking penuhnya lo ga perlu pegangan pun ga bakal kenapa-napa; orang di kiri, kanan, depan, belakang, serong diagonal pun bakal mastiin lo ga akan jatuh. Sebelumnya ngak ada seorang pun dari kita berenam yang pernah naik busway dalam kondisi separah ini, cuma pernah denger cerita-cerita doang. Pas nyampe di dalamnya, setelah beberapa menit bertukaran tatapan-tatapan penuh horor, akhirnya pada cekakak-cekikik juga. Berenam akhirnya bikin lingkaran ato entah bentuk apa waktu itu yang berhasil kebikin, yang penting kita ga terpisah satu sama lain. Di tengah-tengah lingkaran serampangan kita, bak harta karun yang dijaga dengan taruhan nyawa, terletak bungkusan kantong plastik super besar yang berisi kado pernikahan Kak Nita. Bodo lah kita mau didorong, disikut, digencet sekalipun sama orang-orang disekitar kita, yang penting bungkusan kado tersebut tetap aman tak terjamah. Dan lebih epicnya lagi, meskipun kita dalam keadaan yang seekstrem itu, kita tetep aja bisa-bisanya masih ngobrol, ngelawak, ngegombal, bahkan main yang mainan pake jari ngangkat 1,2 itu lho, gue ga tau apa namanya, pokoknya kita yang paling heboh sendiri deh di busway itu. Seumur-umur gue belom pernah sebahagia itu padahal dalam kondisi kaki udah mau ambruk gara2 seharian dipake buat jalan+iceskating.

Lebaran tahun ini,
Dapat sms ucapan selamat lebaran dari orang yang ngak diduga. SMSnya  kayak gini: “Selamat Idul Fitri 1432 H. Semoga puasa yang sudah dijalankan sebulan ini diterima oleh Allah SWT. Amin :) “
Sekilas, SMSnya terasa cukup simple, dan sangat teramat biasa-biasa aja, apalagi kalo mengingat berlusin-lusin sms yang udah gue terima yang intinya ya gitu-gitu juga. Tapi pas gue lihat pengirimnya, jujur gue langsung shock, tapi shocknya sambil tersenyum penuh bahagia (gile ye?). Ternyata yang ngirimin sms kali ini teman gue yang seorang Kristen.  
Ga tau kenapa tapi momen-momen kayak gini nih yang selalu membekas banget di hati gue. Sampe sekarang pun gue masih ingat pas upacara bendera di SMA dulu, anak yang disamping gue seorang Kristen juga. Ga selalu dia sih, tapi biasanya dia. Selain karena anaknya emang luar biasa baik dan ramah, satu hal lagi yang bikin gue melabel dia sebagai anak yang ‘special’ bagi gue adalah setiap kali pembina upacara ato siapalah yang lagi ngomong di depan bilang “Assalmu’alaikum Wr. Wb.”, dia langsung jawab, tanpa malu-malu sedikitpun “Wa’alaikumsalam Wr. Wb.” Bahkan lebih lengkap dan jelas daripada kebanyakan anak-anak 21 lainnya yang memang beragama Islam. Dan satu hal lagi, saat doa pun dia ikutan. Pas bagian bahasa arabnya dia memang masih diam, tapi pas doanya mulai dlm bahasa Indonesia, dia ikut ngangkat tangan, dikepal di depan dada. Bukan dikepal juga sih, tapi ya cara berdoanya orang Kristen deh.
 Kadang teman-teman gue yang ngeliat hal kyk gini juga bingung dan bertanya-tanya “Kenapa mereka ga sekalian jadi Muslim aja ya kalo udah kyk gitu?” Gue juga ga pernah bisa menjawab lebih dari sekedar “Entahlah, mungkin memang belum dibukakan pintunya sama Allah SWT.” Tapi jujur, bagi gue mereka mau menghormati dan bahkan menghayati Islam sampai sejauh itu pun udah senang dan terharu luar biasa. Rasanya gue pengen nunjukin ke orang-orang yang di Barat dan Timur Tengah sana: GINI LOH SEHARUSNYA ORANG YANG BERBEDA AGAMA BERINTERAKSI.

FYI, eyang uyut gue seorang Kristen. Pas nyekar dulu, mama tetap aja bacain al-fatihah dan ayat kursi di atas makamnya..

Lebaran tahun ini,
Entah kenapa berkesan banget pas denger mama bilang kata ‘papa’. Yang dimaksud dalam konteks ini bukan papah (ayahku), tapi papa (ayahnya ibuku).
Dulu gue pernah nonton sebuah film, tentang seorang anak yang ditinggal pergi sama ayahnya. Pas mereka akhirnya dipertemukan lagi, sang anak ga henti2nya bilang kata ‘ayah’ untuk memanggil ayahnya itu. Pas ditanya sama ayahnya kenapa si anak demen banget nyebut kata ‘ayah’, dia dengan polosnya menjawab “Habis, sejak aku kehilangan ayah, aku ngak pernah bisa make kata itu lagi sih. Kangen tau selama ini nggak bisa nyebut kata ‘ayah’, padahal anak2 lain bisa kapan aja bilang ayah. Ngerti kan, ‘yah? :)”
Gue jadi kepikiran, udah berapa lama ya mama nggak bisa menggunakan kata ‘papa’ dalam konteks yang seperti itu? Apa dia juga kangen? Gue sendiri belom pernah ketemu sama alm.kakekku yang satu ini (Beliau meninggal pas mama baru berumur 6 tahun. Pagi masih sehat sentosa. Malamnya ditembak di depan RSCM sepulang praktek. Oiya, beliau seorang dokter :) ) Tapi yang gue tau, mama sekarang bisa lebih sabar dan ikhlas ngejalanin hidup dibandingin papaku. Gue rasa itu sebagian besar karena mama udah pernah ngalamin dan ngelewatin hal yang sesulit ini.

Lebaran tahun ini,
Ngeliat dua eyang sepuh bertemu. Yang satu eyang sepuh dari keluarga dekat gue (adiknya eyang gue). Beliau diuji dengan penyakit Alzheimer. Yang satunya lagi eyang sepuh dari keluarga gue juga, tapi rada jauh hubungannya. Beliau diuji dengan kaki yang sudah mulai melemah, sehingga harus bergantung pada sebuah walker, serta tangan dan bahu anak-cucunya yang selalu siap sedia di sampingnya. Nenekku bilang, udah 5 tahun kedua eyangku ini ngak pernah bertemu. Gue kaget. Bukannya mereka dengan mudahnya bisa diantarin naik mobil aja? Tapi, ternyata ngak bisa semudah itu lagi dengan umur dan kondisi mereka yang seperti itu..
Jadi seharusnya gue ngak heran kali ya, pas mereka ketemu tadi udah kayak adegan dlm sebuah film. Mereka berdua mendekat dengan langkah perlahan. Bukan karena pengen sok romantis, tapi langkah mereka yang tertatih-tatih meskipun udah ditopang anggota keluarga masing-masing memang hanya mengizinkan mereka untuk bergerak dengan kecepatan yang sebatas itu. Ketika keduanya udah cukup dekat untuk bersentuhan, eyang sepuh yang dari keluarga jauh gue mengulurkan tangannya ke bahu eyang sepuh yang dari keluarga dekat gue. Mereka memandang satu sama lain. Dan mereka terdiam. Kebayang kan ya kalo orang biasa, 5 tahun ga ketemu gitu, hebohnya bakal kyk apa pas akhirnya reunian lagi. Tapi ini nggak ada sepatah kata pun yang keluar. Saudara-saudara gue yang lain udah pada asik ngobrol lagi, tapi mereka berdua masih aja terdiam. Memandang. Dan tiba-tiba menangis. Ga ada angin, ga ada ujan, bahkan mulut pun masih belum mengeluarkan kata-kata apapun. Tapi justru dalam satu momen keheningan itu, gue merasakan seluruh perasaan bahagia, terharu, rindu, dan kasih sayang mengalir secara jelas dari kedua eyang sepuhku itu.

Lebaran tahun ini,
Orang tua, saudara, teman-teman, bahkan orang-orang yang hubungannya hanya sebatas saudara sebangsa, benar-benar memberikan sebuah pelajaran yang ngak gue duga bakal gue dapat. Masing-masing menunjukkan kepada gue contoh yang begitu nyata tentang makna sebenarnya dari sebuah cinta. Cinta yang nyata itu terwujud dalam sebuah pengorbanan yang dijalani bersama-sama, dalam keinginan untuk tetap menghormati meski banyaknya perbedaan, dalam sebuah keikhlasan untuk melepaskan, dan dalam keheningan yang lebih bermakna daripada seribu kata. Semoga gue bisa senantiasa lebih peka dengan momen-momen kecil tapi berarti, kayak gini lagi.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Old and New - Rabindranath Tagore


Thou hast made me known to friends whom I knew not.
Thou hast given me seats in homes not my own.
Thou hast brought the distant near and made a brother of the stranger.
I am uneasy at heart when I have to leave my accustomed shelter;
I forget that there abides the old in the new,
and that there also Thou abidest.
Through birth and death, in this world or in others,
wherever Thou leadest me it is Thou, the same,
the one companion of my endless life
who ever linkest my heart with bonds of joy to the unfamiliar.
When one knows Thee, then alien there is none, then no door is shut.
Oh, grant me my prayer that I may never lose
the bliss of the touch of the One
in the play of many.

Please. Allow my heart to let go of what must be gone. Even though I still have much to say, but no means to say it (both in courage and in time). For everything that You have deemed best to be known will be made known, whilst everything that You have deemed to be kept within this sanctuary of thoughts will forever remain so. I dare not ask more from You other than for guidance so that no matter where I may go, no matter how many people I have to part from, allow me the comfort of knowing the one certainty of this ephemeral life: that You in Your all encompassing Mercy and Knowledge, will always be there to guide anyone so long as they strive to stay along the path that You have so graciously laid out for them.

Kusudama in Pyjamas

This my friends, is what happens when you have a nice thick, idle stack of half-folded blue office paper, a tube of nauseatingly pungent rubber glue (read: the abominable Aica-Aibon type) and more than 4 hours of insomnia accompanied by an equally uneventful morning to follow. Apart from being another opportunity to use the "Flower-Best Shot" mode on my Exilim (I love the blurred background effect that it creates, but alas it really does work only with flowers and not so much when taking human portraits -.-) this little gem gave me around 6 to 7 hours of pretty refreshing relaxation. Oh, and if you're wondering why it took me such an atrociously long amount of time to finish this, well I suggest you look closer at the picture while keeping the following in mind: I started with 60 individually cut and folded petals, glued to make 12 sets of 5-petaled flowers, then glued together to make one stunning yet surprisingly labor-intensive origami flower ball, a.k.a kusudama.

I got the idea from - not surprisingly - a very Japanese-related source, i.e. Otomen. My friends and I were pretty much dumbfounded when we got our first glimpse of the thing (then again, a lot of the creations in this manga have always managed to stun us). Anyways, we all thought this was nigh on impossible to replicate and it was probably just some fantasy creation born out of the genius imagination of Aya Kanno, so you can imagine how surprised I was when I actually found an Instructable for this! I was going to challenge Anin to make it, since she's always been the crafty one (voted ter-kreatif sekelas gitu), but apparently my boredom got the better of me and before I knew it, I'd already started folding the first petal.
Half-started mini kusudama
I tried experimenting with blue post-its at first. Major fail. One side kept on sticking more than it should, and I couldn't even get the petal to open up right. So, I decided to turn to the less sticky, but rather over-sized blue office paper I had. This left me with a bit more work to do, since I had to tear the rectangular sheets into little squares first before I could actually fold them, but I think I got through that process pretty well. As a bonus, I got leftover sheets that I ended up folding as well to make these mini kusudamas >>>
I didn't think I'd be able to finish all this (I'm really suspecting I have at least a minor case of ADHD going on up here in my noggin, for a lack of being able to focus on anything quite sufficiently lately) but lo and behold, it turned out I had a lot more perseverance in me than I'd initially thought.


Finishing this gave me that nice feeling of satisfaction at having been at least a tad bit productive after such a weird and tiring night. I ended up dreaming about Queen Victoria for God’s sake. I’m pretty sure Will&Kate had something to do with this; them and my recent affinity for the History Channel as well -.-
*History tidbit: I found out today that Queen Victoria and King Albert were actually the ones who commissioned the building of the Crystal Palace; it was made famous for the fact that it housed England's Great Exhibition way back in the 19th century, but also because it contained a huge indoor botanical garden. So, I guess you could say this was keeping in line with the flower theme that'd been going on since yesterday.

 I really do need to do this more often. So much FUN~

Full scale kusudama. 
They're fun to hold for some reason :D
But admittedly prettier when dangling freely like this ^^


Monday, April 25, 2011

Warrior of Light - Paulo Coelho

Every warrior of light has felt afraid of going into battle.
Every warrior of light has, at some time in the past, lied or betrayed someone.
Every warrior of light has trodden a path that was not hers.
Every warrior of light has suffered for the most trivial of reasons.
Every warrior of light has, at least once, believed that she was not a warrior of light.
Every warrior of light has failed in her spiritual duties.
Every warrior of light has said 'yes' when she wanted to say 'no'.
Every warrior of light has hurt someone she loved.

That is why she is a warrior of light, because she has been through all this and yet has never lost hope of being better than she is..
If not for Thee,
I would have been,
Another piece of driftwood out at sea
Floating listlessly, aimlessly,
A somber reminder of tragedy

But in all this pointless wandering,
For some odd reason,
I'd found contentment in that sea,
As I relished in the silken waves each time
They heaved me up to kiss the skies.

Yet for all my wave-rolling, sky-kissing fun,
My happiness slowly came undone,
For I was still a piece of driftwood out at sea,
Unsure, unimportant, unaware
That rotting was all that'd be left for me.

That was what I had been.
What I thought I'd always be.
But then, You thrust me out!
And brought me back,
Back home upon Your shore.

You took my worthless driftwood self,
And shook me straight to my core.
And You taught me,
You taught me,
That I could become MORE

So why do I still feel as though I don't deserve this?
The gentle tickle of the waves beneath me,
The attentive warmth of the sun above,
What more could I ask for really?
The sense to not be ungrateful? Definitely..

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Let there be light..

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
- William Wordsworth -
 

I've been meaning to celebrate the stupendously bright blue skies we've been having lately, but really hadn't been able to find a way to do so - until today. :)

*the backdrop should've been the clear blue sky I'd been meaning to commemorate so much, but since I couldn't reach out of my balcony far enough to get clear of the awning, this shot was all I could take. No worries though, I've got plans to take more~